We have everything from 'celebrity transgender dwarf ice skating' to '44 stone and keep the cream horns coming' so why no RaboPro12 highlights show? asks journalist Brendan Grehan.
I HAVE A CONFESSION, I can't solely claim the inspiration for this week's missive.
Last Monday evening, I repaired to a tavern of my acquaintance for some much-needed sustenance. The pint bottle of Dundalk's finest via Kilkenny, McCardles, was produced and I was about to tuck into a plate of pasta carbonara (not the healthiest of options but the ultimate comfort food) when from around the corner, a local man of letters and a very serious rugby fan approached. He's working on his latest play, which is due to open in the Gate for the theatre festival in the coming weeks.
Being a Monday evening, the bar isn't exactly mobbed and I ask him how the play is coming along.
"We are in rehearsals at the moment but I am off home now to watch the Aviva premiership highlights", he says.
"Ah yeah, is it on ITV or Setanta. Have you read the blog yet?," I say.
As he heads out the double doors, he turns like John Wayne in 'The Searchers' and says
'You know what you need to write about. There needs to be a dedicated RABO PRO12 Highlights show with coverage of every game. I want to see the Italian games, the Scottish games, everything, highlights of every game that weekend."
"I have seen the AVIVA Premiership one with Craig Doyle, its great. You know, Matt Williams and Franno won't be back for a weeks and Setanta are not bringing back 'Italksport'." I say.
"Thats not the same, it needs to be just RABOPRO12 games, every weekend", he says as he departs into the chilly late-September night.
I turned back to the main object of my affection, a delicious concoction of cream, pasta and bacon (not pancetta, chef tsk tsk). I have recently been promulgating a theory that you can rank the really great states of Europe by their tradition of producing high quality bacon products. So Spain, with its jambon, would be in first place, then Italy with Parma Ham and assorted salamis etc in second and France would be in bronze with Bayonne ham and various charcuterie.
I digress, the man of letters has a very valid point. When I returned home that evening, I watched the Aviva Premiership highlights with Craig Doyle and Martin Bayfield. Doyle gets a lot of stick in the Irish press. Is it because he's a 'Rock boy? They are easy targets. Yes I agree, 'The Craig Doyle Show' on RTE TWO never attracted the red button on my remote but how many RTE chat shows work anyway.
Give the Doyle boy a microphone and a yard of grass and before you can say "you know Oi heard he's really great mates with Drico, loike them and their old dears are always down in Bear tucking into skirt steak and that loike amazing organic West Cork gooseberry juice they do", you have a great hour of rugby highlights interspersed with Doyle's informed rugby banter (never negative or insulting towards the players other pundits please take note) and Bayfield's commanding presence as a former international second-row and policeman. It's a pretty simple formula and it works.
The duo visit one ground for the big game of the weekend and then show highlights of each match interspersed with chats with the coaching staff and team from both sides. I cannot understand why RaboDirect have not stipulated that a highlights package should go out every weekend as part of their sponsorship package.
Yes 'The Breakdown' on Setanta does show RaboPro12 highlights but it takes in Top14 games too and if Mattie has his way some Aussie rugby league! It is a fine show but we need a dedicated RaboPro12 highlights hour and believe if you put it on, they will watch it.
What would Irish rugby fans prefer on a Monday night: Listen to Pat Kenny warbling about the banks or the public sector or fiddly bits on 'The Frontline' or an hour of rugby highlights with chat in between?
Of course any RaboPro12 show may have to be shown on TG4. Maire Treasa Ni Dhubhghaill, Eoghain O'Neachtain and the other guests put on a very good show but sadly I am not a gaelic scholar (to my eternal shame) and I don't understand a word of what they are saying.
Brendan Grehan is a journalist.
Twitter: @brendanxavier